I knew it before she confirmed it, I have cancer. The worst part is all my people have it with me too. It is interesting to me that just before you pass into the room where a clearly upset doctor is waiting to share this news - you don't have cancer, but just on the other side of the door everything changes. I don't remember much about that day a little over two weeks ago except a profound sense of sadness. I have Vaginal Cancer, rather rare as only 2,700 other souls will hear this diagnosis this year. I do remember driving to my appointment rationalizing possible diagnosis and concluding that it could only be Cancer or hopefully a STD. I was hoping for the latter - which of course would present a host of other problems, including a scene where I thrash my poor husband. And if there was ever any question I knew with absolute certainty it could only be Cancer.
Forward to today, I now have lots of new friends who have seen me naked. Dignity is the first to go you know. If I was ever bored before I'm not now, after spending hours researching outcomes and side effects - which of course have done nothing to help my anxiety I've come to accept it. My very kind and experienced Oncology doctor has assured me this will nothing more then a "bump in the road". He is talking cure. Well it does not feel like a bump, it is more like the pot-hole-from-hell. I'm not afraid anymore, just resolute.
You are an amazing woman. Your God, your family, and your friends will give you the strength you need to conquer this horrible disease...The power of prayer is a gift from God and in time you will look back at this and know that it was not a pot-hole-from-hell but a "bump in the road"..I truly believe this to be so.......
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